


Love Warrior

by hybridmonochrome



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), star wars the last jedi
Genre: Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux redemption (kind of), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo is bi though, Love Wins, M/M, Multi, Plot Twists, Social Anxiety, There I Fixed It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all the feels, unfortunate bread rolls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 11:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridmonochrome/pseuds/hybridmonochrome
Summary: After the battle of Crait, Rey and Kylo's bond disappears...for a while. Rey struggles to come to terms with a celebrity status she never wanted, and Kylo has been busy doing some serious self-development after Snoke's death. All passions spring from love, and Kylo begins to interpret the dark in a new way, completely upending the future of the First Order. How will Kylo use this change to get what he wants, now that his life is totally his own? By finding a way to open their bond back up, of course...This is literally the first fanfic I've ever written, so be gentle. Apparently I'm working some stuff out through these characters...





	1. New Surroundings, New Problems

Chapter 1: New surroundings

 

The new base was spacious, far too large for the tiny number of Resistance fighters that survived the battle on Crait. Therefore, General Organa had ordered that only a small section of the living quarters and only a hangar or two be set up for operations. At first, the atmosphere had been solemn as the rebels mourned their losses. War meant loss, though, and everyone in the base added that battle to their list of scars, and eventually continued onward. Recruits began to trickle in, and each one couldn’t wait to get a peek at Rey the Jedi, the Savior of Crait and Hero to the Resistance. 

 

Rey smiled for the new recruits, trained her staff forms everyday, and always volunteered for repair projects on the ancient X-wings the Poe Dameron had dug up in the lower levels of the base. She attended every meeting as requested by the General, nodding and making inspirational noises when prompted. In short, Rey was miserable. 

 

She had thought she would be able to fit in to life surrounded by groups of people, but she was growing more and more anxious by the day. The thrum of people’s thoughts, of their Force signatures, left her no peace. She began to wonder if this was a new development or not. Scavenging for parts in a barren desert wasn’t exactly a team effort unless you enjoyed fighting over rations. After so many years of feeling lonely, Rey found it ironic that she’s been thrust into exactly the opposite situation. She often felt like she wanted to crawl out of her skin and scurry back to her AT-AT, though the addition of regular meals did sweeten the pot of base life. 

 

Rey’s natural introversion had led her to developing a hobby of wandering the abandoned corridors of the base when she was supposed to be in her room “meditating.” The other rebels must think I’m becoming terribly devout, she mused, as she jumped deftly off a short ledge into a lower level of the base. It really wasn’t a bad place for aimless wandering. The air was relatively clean, and ventilation ducts let some natural light flow into the long hallways. It was peaceful there, removed from the constant chatter of other people’s thoughts and emotions. Shame there wasn’t much to scavenge, she mused. 

 

There was one Force signature she hadn’t felt since she’d closed the door on him and fled off into hyperspeed with her wounded comrades.  _ Him _ . That entire situation was just...the word she chose for this was a neutral “confusing,” then slipped off to find something to hit, kick, or weld. She wondered with some bitterness if he was finding life as a dictator to his liking. She had turned their conversations over thousands of times in her head as she wandered underground, they didn’t seem to come clear no matter which mental lens she looked through. How could he be so emotional, yet so cold? So vulnerable, and yet completely unhinged? As the weeks dragged on, she gave up on trying to make sense of it, and filed it away as a mystery. Better to focus on the present, especially the meeting that she was due to attend at 1500. Checking the time on her comm, Rey sighed with irritation and began to make her way back to the buzzing hub of the central chambers. 

 

The entire Resistance had gathered in the main dining hall by the time Rey arrived. A pilot spotted her, and helped usher to the front of the crowd. 

 

_ Do I really need to be paraded out every time? Everyone has seen me already. _

 

Leia was awaiting her on a raised platform at the head of the crowd, smiling sweetly. She waved Rey over and prepared to speak to her rebels. 

 

“Rey, thank you for joining me today to welcome our new recruits! Thirty new volunteers from Chandrila have joined our cause, and we’re grateful to have them. More donations are flooding in, and we’re excited to begin our ship repairs in earnest. I’ve met with our remaining generals, and we’ll soon be briefed on offensive plans moving forward.” 

 

The hall erupted in whistling and applause. 

 

“Of course, our Resistance wouldn’t be what it is without our Jedi, Rey. Because of her bravery, we were able to escape The First Order and live to fight another day. A big cheer for Rey!” 

 

_ How many times do I have to go through this?  _

 

Rey waved nervously, then stepped bodily behind Leia, out of everyone else’s sight. The back of Leia’s head continued, “I’ll leave you to it this evening. Enjoy your evening meal and long live the Resistance!” 

 

“Long live the Resistance!,” the crowd cheered. 

 

Leia gave Rey a tired, but appreciative look and went off to get her meal. Rey scuttled off the platform and went to find Finn, though he wasn’t as available as he used to be. Ever since he and Rose hit it off, they were conspicuously absent from quite a few meetings, and ate at odd hours. 

 

_ Wondering if they’re taking advantage of the empty bunks… _

 

Rey could understand that, but not for the same reasons. After three nights in a row of being kept awake by everyone else’s dreams of grief during the first few nights on the base, Rey had pulled Leia aside and explained that she couldn’t sleep with that many thoughts in the air. Leia had been nothing but sympathetic, ordering her own droid to arrange a private room for Rey at the end of the hall that very moment. She had even brought Rey to bed, and gone so far as to check her forehead for a temperature before she left. She had then informed everyone that their Jedi needed time to meditate, and was not to be bothered. Rey knew that Leia really did care about Rey, she just had an army to run. 

 

Rey also knew that Leia’s dealings with the Force made her very sympathetic to Rey’s issues, untrained as the young scavenger was. Unfortunately, she had not fared so well outside of her circle of Finn, Rose, Poe and Chewie. Half of the recruits and the existing crew gawked at her like they’d seen a ghost, some even wanted holos of them together. They followed her when she was in public, and emoted at length about how great it was to meet a living Jedi.  _ I’m not a full Jedi _ , she said more times than she could count, but it seemed to land on deaf ears. Then, there were those on the other end. They avoided her at all costs, sitting at any table but hers during mealtime. They tripped over themselves in the halls trying to suddenly be very busy when she walked past them. 

 

_ Maybe I should just Force-pull someone’s guts out after breakfast, and give them what they want _ , she thought. 

 

Rey decided she hated fame, and kept largely to herself after the first few weeks. 

 

She missed Finn, though. She missed Finn very much. He spent so much time with Rose that she felt left out, and lonely. She also missed Chewie, and went with him on parts missions sometimes, but Chewie with his ever growing army of porgs was quiet and thoughtful recently after Han’s death. She imagined what it must be like to lose someone you’d lived and worked with for almost 30 years, and didn’t intrude on him too much. He mourned in his own way. 

 

The voice of the meal attendant broke her out of her reverie, and she realized it was her turn in line. She quickly got her meal, a simple affair of soup, bread, some cheese, and extra vitamin rations, and looked around the room with her tray, eyeing the prospects at each table. Everyone was talking frantically about the future of the Resistance, and introducing themselves to the new recruits. Pairs of eyes either quickly darted away from her, or bored holes into hers begging her to sit. 

 

_ Kriff this directly _ , she thought silently, and slunk off to her room. 

 

_ Well, at least I get a good hot meal _ , she thought as she opened the door. 

 

She looked up and scattered the contents of her tray across the room with a gruff shout. Standing in the middle of the room was Kylo Ren himself. 

 

He was dressed in his typical black ensemble, like he’d worn when they slain the Praetorian guard in his throne room. He had felt so…

 

_ NO, we are not going there!,  _ and shut that thought down.

 

The Supreme Leader (oh gods, that was his stupid name now, wasn’t it?) stood his back to her, looking down as though confused. He stiffened, and turned slowly, a look of shock and astonishment replacing his confused expression, when he realized where he was. 

 

_ Rey! I-- _

 

\--and promptly disappeared. 

 

Rey closed her gaping mouth, and rummaged around putting her dinner back on her tray, looking back often at the place where he had stood. Most of the meal was salvageable, but her lovely, fragrant, HOT soup had spilled all over the floor. Exasperated, she grabbed a towel and cleaned up the mess as best she could. Pausing, she moved her small table and chair around so that it faced the middle of the room, and sat down. Still not satisfied, she rose again to retrieve her staff and set it next to her. 

 

_ You spilled my soup, Supreme...Nerf-Herder!  _

 

Rey ate the remnants of her dinner in silence, eyes darting back and forth from her staff to the place Kylo had stood just a minute before. 

 


	2. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a not quite unexpected visitor that refuses to go away. Angry squeaking ensues.

The next three days flew by in a rush. General Organa received word that the First Order had begun increasing its munitions supplies, draining more planets of their resources. She had ordered what troops were available to double shifts, and Rey worked frantically for hours and hours to repair the fleet’s X-wings. There were so few mechanics left that Rey had quite a job in front of her, but every time Poe or Leia came to check on her, bending over her oil and sweat-soaked frame to ask if she’d like to take a break, she nearly jumped out of her skin for some reason, then assured them she was perfectly happy to continue her work. 

I would literally gather luggabeast dung balls if it meant I didn’t have to think about HIM, she mumbled under her breath after Leia asked if perhaps 16 hours was a bit long of a shift. 

Working like this took its toll eventually. After a particularly stressful showdown with a broken navigation panel, Rey’s vision began to blur right before she found herself the proud owner of a blinding headache. Poe insisted she have a ration bar and drink a large glass of water, but nothing seemed to help. Ignoring Poe’s pleas to go the medbay, Rey retreated to the central chambers. After three days with no shower and barely any sleep, it was all Rey could to do wash her ripe, grease-stained body and slip into bed before sleep claimed her. Right as she was nodding off, though, she swore she felt the Force ripple and a well-known figure walk slowly over to sit on her bed. 

“You’re not here,” she said without opening her eyes. “I’m going to sleep.”

Sometime later in the night, she was awoken by a soft, rustling sound. 

What in the absolute kriffing hell, she thought, and pulled the blanket from her face. 

Kylo was sitting in her room, but on his chair, with a single, soft light illuminating his face. He was leaning back, completely relaxed, one ankle crossed over his leg. He appeared to be reading a holopad. On his black desk (of course it was black, The First Order had no decorating skills), sat a small stack of more holopads, and a cup of steaming caf. 

Kylo had removed his uniform, and changed into an unassuming soft long sleeved black shirt and a pair of black sleep pants (truly, this man needed to mix it up a bit). His feet were bare and he paused at intervals during his reading to run his hand through his dark, shiny curls, which swung down softly to hang again in his face. 

“You could tie your hair back, you know,” she mumbled, grabbing her staff from the bedside and sitting up slowly in bed. 

He startled, perhaps forgetting that she was even there. He stared at her with questioning eyes, then, figuring if they were going to kill each other, they would have done it by now, he put the holopad down and wrapped his arms around his bent knee. 

“Snoke’s dead,” Rey said a little too loudly. 

Ben looked at Rey as though he was having to explain the nature of the universe to a porg. “Um, yes, I was aware of that fact. As you may remember…”, he started. 

“You know what I mean,” Rey snapped. “Snoke is dead, the bond should be too.” 

“That’s what I’m reading about, actually. The history of Force bonds. I’ve been reading for a few hours now, and there’s really nothing from either new or ancient literature that explains what we have. They do exist, but they usually form between students and their masters, or siblings like Leia and Luke. However, they are rare, and they are only strong when the....bonded...are near each other. I think it’s a combat tactic, if anything. But, even then, you can really only feel emotions or hints of thoughts. You’re not supposed to be able to just materialize at will, or against your will, certainly. Shall I go on?”, Ben asked. 

After a long pause, eyeing Ben like a vicious snake, Rey capitulated. “Ok, go on,” she muttered, sitting up on the side of the bed. 

Thank the Maker I’m wearing clothes. Not that this could be much more awkward. 

Ben continued, “Snoke said he created the bond, but honestly, I’m not so sure. And even if he did, you saw how that worked out for him.” 

Rey nodded. He certainly didn’t plan on getting murdered by his apprentice. 

“So, even if Snoke set it in motion, something else is causing it continue. And, as crazy as this may sound, I think it’s the Force itself.” 

“Why would the Force want US to be connected?”, Rey whined. “We’re on two sides of a war, Be-KYLO. I don’t see this going well.” 

“Rey, why wouldn’t the Force want us to be connected? We’re some of the last remaining Force sensitives in existence, and we have the ability to bring balance to the galaxy.” 

“You tried to kill everyone, Kylo. Including myself. I don’t think we have much to say to each other.” Rey crossed her arms over her chest and...pouted. 

“Do you not remember that part about me asking to be your teacher, or for you to join me?”, Ben chided. “It was you who ran away. Also, there have been quite a few...changes...since Snoke died. I killed him for you, by the way, in case you need more evidence that I’m not trying to murder you at every turn.” 

Rey’s whipped around to Ben at his confession, but she had figured that out quite a while ago during a particularly long exploration of the underground base. 

“Oh, like you didn’t know,” Ben stated, cocking his head to the his in exasperation. “You are many infuriating things, Rey, but you’re not stupid.” 

Rey paused to consider what this meant, then decided to change the hell out of the subject. “Have you been here this entire time?”, she asked, wondering if he had been watching her sleep. 

“Yes, I’ve been working on controlling the bond slipping in and out instead of... I don’t know, just showing up in your shower one day.” 

Rey cleared her throat quickly, pretending she wasn’t blushing down to her toes at the thought. 

“And you stayed her and watched me sleep?” Rey squeaked. 

“I stayed here and read...after I made sure you were asleep.” 

Did Ben just wink at her? 

“So what makes you so cheerful? Like you can just waltz into my life, my ROOM again, after all the things you’ve done?”, Rey found herself goading her anger to avoid a...much more uncomfortable feeling. 

“Well, while you’ve been traipsing around with the Resistance, I have been using my library to figure out what’s going on. You really hurt my feelings, Rey, but I can see your point of view.” 

“I...hurt your feelings?!”, Rey squeaked.

“Well yes, of course you did,” Ben stated calmly. “But I think I know what we’re meant for, and I think I was going about it the wrong way. When the time is right, you’ll come to me.” 

Rey gawked, completely at a loss for what to say. 

“I’ll never join you,” she growled, deadly seriousness in her eyes. 

“Well, I’m the one that knows how to manipulate our bond, so whether you like it or not, you’ll be spending a lot of time listening to me explain myself, rather than jumping to conclusions and...you squeak at me when you’re angry, do you know that?” Ben chuckled slightly. 

“You are the most infuriating…”, Rey spat before Ben’s voice rumbled lowly. 

“Things are different, Rey. You’ll see. And when you finally learn what I’ve learned, it will all make sense. Trust the force, Rey. Get some sleep.” And with that, Ben reached up to turn out his desk light, plunging them both into darkness, and Rey into solitude. She clenched her fists in something that she swore to herself was just frustration and meditated until sleep took her.


	3. A New Kind of Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is troubled by her thoughts of Kylo, both mentally and physically.

Rey slept fitfully, but she laid in bed contemplating the last night’s events for a good hour before she finally got up. 

How in the kriff did Ben figure out how to manipulate the force bond? And was she going to be treated to his visit every night? That would certainly be…

NO! You cannot think about him that way, Rey. He’s a monster. 

Her subconscious was getting tired of this routine. The more she tried to block out thoughts of him, the more they kept popping up, delighted to give her something incendiary to think about. She hated it, visions of his massive body in various states of undress, his long, probably incredibly capable fingers caressing her neck, what his shiny, wild hair would feel like brushing against her skin, and his stupidly expressive eyes, it inspired feelings in her that felt very much like pain. 

Why does thinking about him like this hurt me? 

Then there were the more intimate visions her brain pulled up, especially right before before sleep, as she was lying alone in her room. Her traitorous, blind body wanted to feel him pressed against her in a similar way as they had done in the throne room, but with a violence of a different kind. She’d never been with a man, but she certainly knew what men and women did when they were attracted to each other, and she wondered despite herself how that would be with him. Everything she’s seen up until then had either been violent or for money, but she wondered if it would be different with him. How he would touch her, the pleasure he would give her.

I swear to the Maker I’m not doing this right now, she yelled angrily at her own mind. 

Throwing the blankets aside and cursing loudly, she ignored the aching feeling in her belly, threw on her clothes, and did her hair angrily. She took one last look at where he had been standing the night before. He hadn’t touched her or violated her, just read quietly next to her as she slept. Infuriating, for a million conflicting reasons. 

She huffed loudly and slammed the door on her way out.


	4. Ben the Scholar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets serious and Rey gets edgy. At first.

Rey hauled herself into her room, having taken most of the night off and determined to sleep for as long as she could. She stripped down in the communal shower, letting the warm water wash over her and cleanse her skin of the incessant, stinging dust on the planet’s surface. Tonight, she decided to give her hair an extra wash. Because, clearly, there is a lot of sand on the surface and we don’t want sand in our hair when we sleep, do we? And that is the ONLY reason I want to smell nice. 

 

_ You know, you also want Kylo to know how nice you smell.  _

 

“Can it!,” she shouted to no one while furiously lathering her hair. 

 

Rey grabs her towel in disgust, checking around the room to see if any special visitors have decided to appear. Nothing seems out of place, though, so she finishes her shower and stomps off to her room. 

 

And who is there to greet her but Kylo himself, stretched out on her bed, faint but self-satisfied grin plastered on his face. 

 

She screams as she slams her door, and almost takes her towel off to strangle him with it, when she realizes that he’ll probably die smiling if she does. 

 

“Get out of my room!,” she yells, hoping no one hears her. That would be quite a situation to explain. The Resistance would either kick her out or put her in the special room in the medbay. 

 

“I quite like it here. You can leave,” Kylo says cheerfully. 

 

“I’m not going to parade myself around the base in a towel,” Rey mutters. 

 

“No, I wouldn’t like that either, to be honest,” Kylo’s gaze darkens. 

 

_ Oh fantastic. He’s possessive too. Maker take me now.  _

 

“I am going to get dressed. You are going to turn away until I say it’s OK to look,” Rey demands. 

 

“I’m sorry for intruding on you in your towel. Here,” he turns on his side, facing the wall. 

 

Rey throws her clothes on faster than she ever has, skipping the breast band for brevity. “Ok, there.”

 

Ben turns back, mirth in his eyes. “So, what did you do today, Rey?”

 

Rey groans with annoyance, drying off her wet hair and sitting in the room’s only small chair, refusing to share the bed with him. 

 

“I’m serious. What did you do?”

 

“Today I fixed X-wings, but I was exhausted because  _ someone _ woke me up in the middle of the night, so I’m taking the evening off. I had hoped I was going to be able to sleep, but here you are, in my bed,” Rey gestures at Kylo, whose massive frame dominates the small space. There’d barely be any room for her there anyway, unless she snuggled very close--

 

_ Not. Now.  _

 

Ben is silent for a moment, then begins reading from a holopad as she dries and arranges her hair. She steals glances at him, wondering when he’s going to do something villainous, but he just lays there and does nothing. Which is almost more infuriating. Almost. 

 

Rey goes around her room, tidying up and readying herself for bed, if she can ever get into it. How she’s going to kick him out she has no idea, as he’s lying right next to her staff. She’s too tired to be anything but honest with herself in the moment, though. She doesn’t mind him here. He’s the only person that doesn’t make her feel like like she has to put on a show. 

 

“Where are you right now?,” she asks. 

 

“I’m on my ship.” 

 

“No, I mean where in your ship are you? I can’t see your surroundings.” 

 

“I can’t really see yours either, Rey. But I did manage to find a place to lie down. I have a set of cushions in my private quarters. Here, I am laying on those.”

 

“Not your bed, though,” Rey blurts, then immediately wishes she could suck it back in. 

 

“Um, no, not my bed. Is that acceptable?” Ben actually waggles his eyebrows at her, and she wants to sink directly into the floor. 

 

Ben goes back to his holopad as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. She knows he’s toying with her, but curiosity finally gets the better of her. 

 

“And what are you reading, Ben...KYLO!,” Rey stutters and covers her mouth with both hands. 

 

Ben takes a long look at her. “You can call me Ben. I feel more like Ben like this,” he says gently. “I’m reading about Jedi history, dark and light. It’s too soon to explain it, but I think I’m onto something. I haven’t read these texts in ages, but reading them when you’re older is different.” 

 

Rey simply can’t help herself when she asks, “Can I see?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Ben says, helpfully, shifting his weight slightly across the bed giving her more room. 

 

Knowing she is going to live to regret his, Rey stand up slowly and moves to sit next to him on the bed. There’s barely any space between the two of them, and she gulps audibly when she catches a thread of his scent: warm, woodsy, and so masculine that her flesh breaks out in goosebumps. 

 

Ben fixes her with a long, piercing stare, then offers his a glance of the holopad. She sits cross legged next to him, still wary as if he’s going to jump at her, but he just offers her the text, explaining as she reads. 

 

“This text is very ancient, written before the Force users divided into light and dark. It talks about how the opposing forces can exist inside one individual. They’re not ‘sides’ that users are supposed to divide themselves with. You can use the stillness and peace of the light, as well as the emotions of the dark. I don’t even think they should be called that, honestly. I think passion and peace might be a more accurate description.” 

 

Ben continues, “When we divide ourselves into all dark or all light, we cut off parts of ourselves, and it causes immense pain. I felt this myself when Snoke was controlling me. He wanted me fully succumbed to the Dark, but I just couldn’t do it, because I wasn’t made that way. Neither was my grandfather. He had light in him, too.” 

 

Rey struggles with this knowledge. She’s seen the damage the Dark can do, but she’s also seen how emotion and passion can help rather than hurt. The passion to save your friends, the passion to help others. She also realizes that it was Ben’s passion for and desire to protect her that caused the death of one of the most vile creatures in the universe. 

 

_ Ben’s passion for me… _

 

Rey’s eyes flicker up to meet the face of the man who until recently had been her sworn enemy, and he returns her gaze calmly at first, then more timidly as she continues to stare at him. 

 

“What are you thinking, Rey?” He asks, his eyes growing bright, his body subtly closing the distance between them. 

 

Rey knows what she wants to ask, but panics and asks stupidly, “What did you do today?”, then goes bright red with the embarrassment of feeling like an awkward teenager, which isn’t far off the mark. 

 

Ben gracefully lets the moment pass, then looks at her with amusement. “This evening, I invited a group of ambassadors from the one of the aquatic planets for negotiations over dinner. As we wanted to host them correctly, we served a delicacy from their own world. I’m not sure if it was alive or not, but I got to make polite conversation with them as I chased a bunch of waving tentacles around my plate. Being the Supreme Leader comes with myriad new experiences, I suppose…” 

 

Rey looks at him open-mouthed, as he sighs with resignation. “Yes, Rey. Even my dinner is fighting me these days….” 

 

She pauses for a moment before she bursts out laughing, the sound echoing off the bare walls of her room. Her laughter is infectious, and he’s chuckling too after a moment. She looks at his face, beaming with a genuine smile, and can’t stop the thought that he’s one of the most beautiful men she’s ever laid eyes on. This makes her braver, more curious. 

 

Rey thinks carefully as she chooses her words, finally asking her question.  “Be-...Ben, what’s happened to you? You used to be so...moody, and terrible, and now you’re sitting in my bed cracking jokes. Are you sure you’re well?” 

 

_ Please don’t let this be a trick. You’re so pleasant when you’re not trying to conquer the galaxy. _

 

Ben settles back into the bed, a serious look coming over his face. He’s thinking, perhaps too much. 

 

“I don’t know if I can put it all into words, Rey.  __ And even then you probably won’t believe it. But, I might be able to show you. If you lie down.” 

 

“What the kriff are you talking--,” Rey starts. 

 

“Not like that! I’m not going to...violate you,” Ben says, looking offended. 

 

Rey looks at him warily, gauging his words. 

 

Ben looks at her with all serious, the mirth gone out of his eyes. He says softly, but with a trace of warning, “You know I could have taken whatever I wanted.” 

 

But he hadn’t. In fact, he had killed Snoke for trying to violate her mind. 

 

To her horror, Rey feels her pulse speed up at the thought of being close to him, of actually laying next to him. In her bed of all places! But, he had been true to his words, and she really wants to see if it’s possible to communicate what has caused his most recent change. 

 

Rey tries to maneuver into laying next to him without falling completely off the bed. She voices her frustration, saying the first thing that comes to her mind, “I’m trying, but you’re...just a very big man, Ben!” 

 

Ben fixes her with a pointed stare, his deep chocolate eyes darkening slightly. He says with a wicked grin, leaving no question as to what he means, “Yes, I am, Rey.” 

 

Rey gawks and immediately turns bright red. How could she have been so stupid? Ben eyes her patiently, waiting for her awkwardness to pass. 

 

“I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want. Honestly, I think you do want it, but I also don’t think you’re ready. I might not be either. Just let me try something. It’s just a touch, nothing more.” 

 

Rey whimpers pitifully, both at herself and her situation, and slowly lowers herself next to him stretching out her full length against his imposing body. He seems to go tense for a moment as she molds herself to his body, head resting under his jaw. She was right. She’s fits perfectly with him on her bed, if they snuggle very close. 

 

Ben takes longer than expected to speak. He seems to be slowing his breathing. Finally, he holds up his bare hand to hers. She examines his long fingers longingly, realizing how much she’s wanted to touch him again since that night in the hut on Ahch-to. She reaches with her hand, and breathes….


	5. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, I discovered Grammarly. Hurt, comfort, and Dark Side Rey. Also, here's Le First Smut. She's a turbo-virgin, you guys. Go easy on the poor girl.

Ben takes longer than expected to speak. He seems to be slowing his breathing. Finally, he holds up his bare hand to hers. She examines his long fingers longingly, realizing how much she’s wanted to touch him again since that night in the hut on Ahch-to. She reaches with her hand, and breathes….

 

...and suddenly her world has shifted and she’s in Ben’s body. He’s younger and more nervous. He’s at the Jedi Academy, surrounded by other students, all of whom seems to be afraid of him. They avert their eyes or make cruel remarks to him, taunting him that he’ll never be as pure. Luke doesn’t join in, but he can feel his uncle’s disappointment in him, that Ben can’t learn to control his emotions or clear his mind completely. He feels utterly alone and...defective. The whispers begin, promising him a place of belonging. 

The vision shifts and she’s looking through Ben’s eyes as the Jedi temple burns. But, Ben feels as though he’s watching himself in a dream. The voice whispers louder,  _ They never wanted you, and now look what you’ve done. How can you live with yourself now? But I will accept you. The galaxy will tremble before you. Come home. _ Ben doesn’t remember setting the temple on fire, doesn’t remember the destruction he’s caused, but he must have done it….He flees in fear, and a representative of the First Order comes to claim him…

Ben kneels in front of Snoke, blood pouring from the wounds in his arms and legs, spilling down into his eyes. Snoke tells him his torment will make him strong, powerful.  _ This is where you belong _ , Snoke says.  _ This is your home now _ . Ben spends months in abject despair as his light is torn from him in throbbing pieces until eventually, he resigns himself to his fate. It doesn’t hurt so much after that. 

Ben is sent on errand after errand for his Master, destroying whatever is put in his way. He trains brutally, pushing his body past its limits. He’s humiliated in the throne room, called a little boy in a mask. Nothing is ever good enough. Ben realizes with horror that nothing will ever be good enough to make Snoke accept him. Snoke uses his need for a home, a family, finally feeling accepted, as the leash that keeps him to heel. Something breaks in Ben, but something else begins to grow. 

Rey sees a vision that makes her shudder with recognition. Ben is fighting a young woman in the snow. She’s so small but so fierce, determined to defend her friend. He feels her power, and for the first time in a long time, he feels less alone. Even though they’re fighting to the death, even though he has no idea what he would do with her if her got her, he feels a kind of hope. A promise. He offers to teach her, what little he can offer. She refuses, then she rips his face open with a lightsaber, leaving him bleeding in the snow. He has weeks to revisit the pain of being rejected as he’s healing. 

Ben is behind the same woman, on a lift in a destroyer. His ship. He’s taking her to meet his master and is cowed with fear and sadness. Snoke will do the same to her that he did to Ben. And he’s a coward, letting it happen. Letting that monster pluck out her light and use her as a tool. Something breaks in him, and again something grows in its place. He chooses her, her light, over his own master. They fight together like one being, and he feels exhilarated. Home. He offers her the galaxy, she rejects him, and tries to stab him with a lightsaber again on her way out. 

Now the vision shifts to something Rey hasn’t seen. Ben is sitting in meditation, trying to ignore a dull ache in his chest. He’s miserable, but there’s a lightness that hadn’t been there before. Snoke’s incessant, poisonous chatter is gone, and when he tries to remember the events of the past few years, they feel like a dream. Snoke had infected him, forced his hand because he didn’t trust Ben to his own devices. Snoke tried to turn him against himself, use the beautiful parts of him as ammunition to break his psyche until he was nothing but a husk, an extra appendage of the Supreme Leader. Sighing deeply, Ben expands his consciousness and feels...free. His future is his own, and he resolves to start by making things right. The next day, after his duties carrying the mantle of Supreme Leader are over, Ben begins his research, scouring ancient texts for anything about...force bonds. 

Ben removes his hand from hers and Rey comes to gasping. Tears flood from her eyes, pitiful cries on her lips when thinking of what he had to endure. Needing space, she rolls onto her back as best she can, and Ben moves over to make room for her. “The things they did to you! I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine you in that much pain. And you were so alone.” Her heart aches in sympathy because she knows that feeling intimately. 

Ben’s voice shakes, raw with emotion, “That was my life for a long time, Rey. It hurt terribly, I was something not quite human, and I still bear scars from it. But I’m free now. And every day I’m changing more, becoming the person I was before Snoke invaded my mind with lies. It’s painful, but it’s in the past. And I’m letting it die.” 

Rey shudders, his turbulent emotions mixing with her own, dredging up memories she’d rather forget. Ben feels her tense, and places his hand gently on the apex of her ribcage, just under her breasts. But the touch is chaste, for comfort, for safety. He murmurs to her softly, and she places her own hand over his, returning the feeling. 

Rey whimpers. She had thought they were so different, two opposing sides in a galaxy-wide war. But now she understands why the Force brought them together. They were very much the same: conflicted, abandoned, abused by those who they thought they could trust. Rey’s pity won’t count for much, but she can show Ben how they are similar. She can make him feel less alone, less strange. 

A deep uneasiness begins to overtake her as if she’d taken all of Ben’s emotional energy into herself. She feels desperate pain and loneliness, and sadness, but most of all anger. His anger, at having been used, the tender parts of himself plucked and pulled and turned against him for whoever wanted control of him at the moment. Overcome, she thrashes free of his grasp and sits up, whining and gasping at the intensity of the emotion. He feels her anguish and reaches to steady her. 

Rey whips around fiercely and grabs him by the shoulders, raising herself over him blindly. She feels the Dark whipping around her, swirling into her mind and begging her to release this fury on the nearest person. Which is Ben, unfortunately. She throws her legs over him, straddling him and holding him down with the Force, pushing him deeper into the thin mattress. He winces at the invasion.

“They tried to take everything from you’, she growls menacingly, trapping his thick wrists with her tiny hands, molded into claws. “They tried to break you because they weren’t strong enough to harness your power themselves. Whoever did this to you should be made to suffer, to feel the pain of their transgressions. I will make them suffer, I will avenge this hurt for you until the galaxy is littered with their broken bones.” 

Ben feels the pulsing Dark threatening to consume her and pushes back against her with the Force, wrestling his hands free. Treating her with utmost gentleness, he wraps his huge paws around her delicate fists and pushes them back to her sides. Distracted, Rey loses her hold on the Dark and doubles over in sobs, bleeding herself out in tears. He remains passive, whispering soothing words, regretting allowing her to see so much when she doesn’t yet have the power to control herself. 

“They’re my emotions, Rey. They’re not yours. It’s OK. It’s in the past. Just breathe, Rey. Breathe like this, in. Deeply. That’s it. Now out, all the way. Good. In again, let your whole chest expand, now out. Let it go. This is not yours to carry. Thank you for being open to me. Thank you for allowing me to show you this. Come back to your center. Breathe.” 

After a few minutes of this, the pain flows out of her, and Rey comes slowly back to reality. Calming, unwinding. Centering her body and mind. Her eyes survey the scene in front of her with alarm. Here she sits, open on Ben’s hips, connected at their most intimate places, his hands running up and down her arms comfortingly, shushing her and soothing her like a child. She feels his warmth below her, and a new type of pain shoots through her, a deep, frenetic ache blooming from her belly. 

“Ben, you’re hurting me.” 

“I’m sorry, Rey. I think I showed you too much. The pain will pass if you focus and br-” 

“No, not like that. It’s something else…” She looks down at their joined hips before searching his eyes with her own. “What is this?”

Ben followed her gaze, remaining quiet, but she can feel his body begin to tense, considering what to tell her. 

“Can I try something?”

“Um, OK.” 

He strokes his hands down her arms a final time, and reaches down tentatively. He hovers them over her hips, then grabs them with a firm decisiveness. His voice, once coddling, reaches a deeper octave, warm, in control. 

“Does it hurt more when I do this?”, he asks, as his hands guide her hips forward and down, rubbing her nether regions against him. 

“Agh, more! It hurts more!”, she groans, wincing. 

“Does it burn? Like getting a wound?”

“No, it’s something different. It’s like an ache...like a...Oh!”, she gasps as her shifts her back again, then slowly pulls her forward against him. Lifting her slightly, he uses the cloth of her trousers to tease the soft, pink mound underneath, further agitating her. 

“Oh, Rey. Do you really not know what this is?” he chuckles gently. “I think what you’re feeling is...desire.”

Rey’s stiffens, then goes silent. She slowly looks up at him, shocked.  

After a few moments, she asks frantically, “How do I make this go away? I feel it all the time and it’s awful! Really, I hate it. It keeps me awake, and I’m so on edge all the time that I can’t concentrate.”

Ben had truly not expected the evening to go this way, but something deep in his hindbrain gives a shout of triumph as he realizes that Rey, this glowing moonlit creature who had just in her borrowed bloodlust threatened to slowly murder each of his abusers with her bare hands, is now sitting astride his hips and asking HIM what to do about the constant arousal she feels when she imagines the Leader of the First Order. 

_ Maker, I am truly sorry if I have ever taken your name in vain.  _

Ben makes a mental note to build some temples on some of the lesser populated planets and allocate some funds for whatever religious rituals really anyone on The First Order’s colonized planets would like to do at this point. 

“Uh, well, I...yes, there are ways to make that...feeling...go away. Some of them you know from your training. Prolonged meditation and breathing practices, of course.” Ben was about to add,  _ You should probably never think of me when you’re alone, _ but thought decidedly better of announcing that specific plan in favor of a much more satisfying alternative. 

Rey was still eyeing him furtively. “Or...you could release that tension, with...help. From me.” He concludes, hoping that would sound neutral enough to make her curious. 

“You can make this go away,” she states. 

“Yes, Rey,” and with that, he resumed his attention dragging her hips back and forth against him. He felt her hot and wanting on top of him, and he struggled to maintain his composure. “I can take that ache that you feel away.” He hisses as she brushes at a certain angle against his already stiffening length. 

Rey gasped, “Ben, you’re...hard.” 

“So you know what human males have between their legs, and what happens when they feel desire.” 

“Yes,” Rey says, with a flash of sadness, “I know.” 

Manipulating her more vigorously to bring her back to the present, which certainly works gauging from her reaction, Ben says, “Then you know that I feel the same ache. Let me satisfy both of us. I won’t hurt you or violate you or do anything you don’t want me to. I promise. Do you trust me?” 

Rey realizes with something between horror and jubilance that she does, in fact, trust him, not only to relieve her constant hunger but also to treat her with care and respect. Last resort, she’d gouge his eyes out or something else particularly unpleasant. As a last resort. Clearly. 

“I do, Ben. I trust you. Ease this terrible want for both of us. Please.” 

Ben lets out a building sigh, relaxing underneath Rey and bending his knees slightly, guiding her to the backs of his thighs. 

“Push down onto me. Let me guide you. Like this”. He arches his own hips up to meet hers, rubbing her delicate folds against his now throbbing hardness, and taking her hips fully in his grasp, adjusting the pace and tempo of their pleasure until Rey’s needy whimpering blossomed into full-throated moans. 

“Does it still hurt?” he groaned, already knowing her answer. 

“Yes, but there’s something else,...it...gods, it feels so good. But I want...oh, but I want…” 

“I know what you want,” and he grinds against her viciously, making her gasp and writhe and moan on top of him like a wild animal. “You want release. Let me give it to you.” 

With that, he uses his right hand to caress that tender skin of her belly, reaching into her trousers and brushing his thumb against the soaking bundle of nerves hidden there. He wonders briefly about the protocol on the base for someone moaning this loudly in their room at night. Did they just ignore it? Send a medic? Break down the door with blasters? Because now was the time to find out. 

Rey pants heavily at the new pressure, bouncing her hips against Ben’s weeping cock, instinctively seeking to build the pressure inside her until she explodes. She careens down to that inevitability like falling down a hill. 

Ben keeps Rey’s gaze as he slowly moves his left hand to one of her breasts, kneading the swollen flesh and rubbing a nipple to hardness under the thin fabric of her shirt. For a brief moment, breathtaking moment, he feels her pleasure, and the deep, burning need he triggers in her body. He rolls her nipple between his fingers, and he felt a deepening of their bond, hearing the same word echoing through both of their minds. 

_ Exquisite. _

Rey’s begins to keen from the back of her throat, whimpering at the pleasure he’s giving her. 

“Ben, I feel...there’s something new...I need to…” 

“Just let go, Rey. Let go and feel it. It won’t hurt you, I promise. Oh, gods. You’re so wet. I can feel your need. I feel it, too. Give in. I’m here with you.” 

_ Always.  _

Ben thrusts his hips against hers fiercely, as Rey’s body takes over and rides him for all she's worth. His thumb still making maddening circling motions against her, Rey arches up against him, mouth going wide in a gorgeous, silent scream. Explosions of pleasure radiate like starbursts from her belly to the rest of her body, making her mind numb with ecstasy. She feels Kylo shudder underneath her soon after, pumping her against him and rumbling his pleasure into the Force-sodden air around them. Rey needs to be closer, to feel his body against her, and she sinks herself down onto his chest. His arms wrap around her hungrily, cradling her as the shocks leave her body and for the first time in weeks, years, maybe her whole life, she feels sated, still. 

After a while, she whispers hoarsely, “That was not at all what I expected.” 

“What do you mean? You seemed to enjoy it…” Ben trailed off, feeling nervous. He wasn’t the most experienced lover, but there was no faking Rey’s reaction to his touch. 

“No, that was...amazing. I’ve never felt that before. It’s just, on Jakku, that kind of want meant...violence. I...you know, it might be easier to show you.” Rey lifted her head to look at him and offered her her open palm. 

Ben hesitated, eyes going dark. “You can show me, but I have to be honest with you about something. I cannot stand the idea of someone hurting you, especially that way. If anyone has touched you, I’m going to go to wake up tomorrow and go to Jakku to find them. I’ll send you their teeth to wear as jewelry. You’ve been warned.” 

_ There’s definitely still some dark in you, Ben,  _ Rey thinks. 

“No, it wasn’t like that. But the things I saw...how do I do this?” 

“Imagine offering a memory to me in your hands. It’s an act of giving. I can find it from there.”

“Ok, give me your hand.” 

And for the second time that night, their bond opens up wide, and Rey lets Ben see her scars. 


	6. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey lets Ben see her memories, and they finally come to an understanding. Trigger warnings in chapter notes.

There was no shock or vision when Ben and Rey’s bond opened this time. Ben thought it was probably because she was less experienced at working with their connection, while he had been soaking up information about it with an almost singular focus for the last few weeks. Instead, he felt something like a wispy veil across her thoughts, rough but thin, allowing him entrance if he only pushed a little. 

 

With sadness, he thought back to the first time he had hijacked her mind. The woman had such a hold on him even then. He had gotten quite used to ripping prisoners’ minds apart in search of information under Snoke. He had excelled at, in fact, which had only encouraged his Master’s further exploitation. Ben could have been rough with her, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Something inside him wanted her to submit willingly; he needed her to accept him even then. And how she had taken her revenge on his intrusion, meeting his invasion with her own. 

 

Bringing back his focus to his mission, Ben skims the surface of her thoughts until he feels a small quiver, like a tiny pull in a delicate piece of fabric. He glides towards it, and feels a sense of offering, as he had instructed Rey to do. Delicately delving in, he begins to unlock memory after memory of her life on Jakku, each memory sliding into the next like a damaged holovid projection.  

 

A tiny Rey sits alone on the dirt floor of a shop, swallowed by a tattered shirt three sizes too big for her. She’s been put to work greasing speeder parts with her tiny fingers. Immersed in her work, she’s finished off quite a pile of parts beside her. Even then, at barely six, she is measuring her time in portions. Today, Little Rey is quite pleased with herself. She hums softly, a lullaby she’s already beginning to forget. She feels the air shift as a man staggers into the room, slurring Plutt’s name. He notices her in the corner, looks around furtively to see if anyone else is watching. Rey tenses, sensing danger but not knowing what to do.

 

“Hey, little one. Whaddaya doin’ al’lone here?” He stinks of the stuff they sell next door. “Hey, why don’you com’ over here? You wanna ge’some portionssss?” 

 

The man is towering over here, reaching for her shoulder. Rey’s eyes are blown wide with shock, frozen where she sits. Unkar Plutt comes plodding into the room, and grabs the man by the shoulders, dragging him towards the door. 

 

“She’s not for sale!” Plutt bellows. “Ahem, well, not yet at least. Can’t have anyone ruining my investment, can I? What you’re looking for is down at the brothel. Some just a little older than her!” Plutt gives a cursory glance at Rey to make sure she hasn’t been sullied, huffs a bit over her, and retreats back into the office to count his money. Rey moves to focus on her work, not understanding why she’s shaking. 

 

Now Rey is a young teenager, eleven or twelve years old. She feels a deep sense of unease at her changing body, due to the way men around the camp look at her. Constant catcalling, lewd promises follow her around the camp. It’s one of the reasons she hates being around people. Well, men, especially. Some of the older women at the camp try to look out for her, but they can’t defend her all the time, and Rey begins practicing self-defense moves like the ones she had seen some passing troops drilling during a stop-off there. Each stroke, each parry, makes her feel a bit stronger, less like a puppet waiting for someone to comes pull its strings. Sticky sweat pours off of her in the blistering sun as she uses her anger and fear to mold herself into a weapon. 

 

The scene washes away, and another takes its place. Now, Rey is older, strong and sinewy but with a woman’s body; pert breasts, gently curving hips. She visits Unkar Plutt for her daily rations, dragging an ancient blanket full of scrap to his tiny shop. Her body is sheened again in sweat, slicking her thin clothing to her body. Unkar gives her a lascivious grin. “See what we’ve got here, girl!”, he slobbers. 

 

Ignoring his behavior, Rey drags the blanket up to him. In her head, she reckons her haul should fetch at least two full portions. Unkar surveys the scrap, and seeming satisfied, rummages around in the bottom of his ration drawer, drawing out the oldest, hardest, most foul portion he can find. He places it on the table before her and shrugs. 

 

“This is at least two portions!” Rey shouts. 

 

“I only see one, girl. But I have a...proposition for you,” Plutt grumbles. “There are other ways to make money around the camp, you know. Easier ways. I’d imagine that figure could keep you in portions for a month or more for a night’s work. Of course, it’s always good for the chef to get a taste of his own cooking before he serves it…” 

 

Plutt lugs his meaty, misshapen weight over the table, almost salivating at the sight of her. 

 

Rey feels about to wretch in disgust. “I’d rather starve, thanks,” she manages, before she grabs her tiny portion and takes three healthy steps back from the dank little shop, her hand itching to grab her quarterstaff. 

 

“You stay fed on my kindness, scavenger. I think a few weeks of half-rations will make you much more...open...to my offer.” 

 

Rey turns on her heel with what dignity she can muster, but she lets the tears begin to stream down her face as she leaves the camp and heads back home. She’d heard whispers about some of his other scavengers, only a little older than she was now, who had taken up with the nighthouses on some of the outer camps. Filthy places, they were. Jakku wasn’t a paradise by any means, but its brothels were a special kind of hell. Vulgar, unwashed traders swept through every fortnight with the supply ships, swilling cheap liquor until they vomited or passed out or got themselves killed in a bar fight. Even a life of hunger and scarcity seemed better than that. 

 

But Rey also knew what it felt like to go days without food, with no hope for a good meal in sight. The agonizing pangs in her stomach, the sweating and chills and ravenous thoughts of just a tiny bit of sustenance. If someone had offered her a month’s worth of portions when she was that weak, would she have the strength to resist? Would Plutt really starve her into the worst kind of slavery? Hanging her head in her heads on her tiny bed, Rey sobs desperately, knowing that he would. 

 

Ben shares her agony, writhing with panic underneath Rey. He almost breaks the connection but feels Rey offer him more. He regrets his mistake, letting so many of his turbulent emotions flood into her earlier. He’s not sure he can handle much more of this, keeping his pain and his blinding need for revenge in check. 

 

The memories come faster now; visions of drunk revelers rutting in alleys like dogs. A flash of a stinking, hairy man grunting his way to his release in an open window. The smell of the brothels after a busy weekend wafting through the morning streets. Dark characters eyeing her like starving lunatics. Fetid lust trailing after the men in the camp like claw-filled shadows as they headed into the brothels when the sun went down. The stench of it so cloying that Rey felt often felt overwhelmed, retreating as soon as she could to her AT-AT and sleeping with her staff under her pillow. 

 

Ben feels the bond evaporate as Rey releases her hand from his, then pushes him off of her to over the side of the bed, dry-heaving with revulsion and panic. He whimpers with the force of the memories, shivering in a cold sweat. Rey moves to sit behind him and rubs his back, murmuring comfort to him as he comes down. 

 

“I know, it’s intense. All of the emotions together. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to see why I’m...the way I am. That kind of thing...it seemed really unpleasant until…”

 

Ben lifts a hand to his face, seized with shame. “Gods, Rey. I know what’s it’s like to be tortured, but...please tell me, did I ever make you feel that way?” 

 

Rey is silent for just a moment. “Actually, no. You’re one of the only men who I haven’t felt that way with.” 

 

Ben cringes into his hand. “But I told you I could take whatever I wanted,” he moans, disgusted with himself.

 

“Ben, when you’ve seen things like that for as long as I have, predators have a certain...smell, if you can call it that. I think the Force might have been helping me even then, teaching me who to avoid. I promise I have never feared...that...from you.” 

 

She collects her breath softly, moving him back slowly to lie back on her bed. “Before I met you, I was worried you’d hurt me. But, once I was near you, it was different. It was confusing as hell, but it was different. And when you interrogated me, I felt....gods, despite myself, I...wanted…” 

 

Ben’s eyes go wide as saucers, hearing a wisp of her thoughts. “Me,” he says under his breath. “You wanted...me.” 

 

“Yes,” Rey barely breathes. “I wanted you.”  

 

Ben lets out a ragged breath, cradling her down into his arms. He realizes that what she truly needs, and what he is more than willing to give, is affection and tenderness. All those years, and still so much light inside her, still so trusting...of him, of all people. He shakes his head in disbelief. She could have been hardened by her surroundings, being denied the childhood she should have had. Now, he wants to make it his personal mission to smother her in comfort and gentleness. Delicate slippers for her feet, soft blankets to warm and soothe her body, and the most stalwart of attention from her lover, who he desperately wants to be. 

 

“Rey, those things that you showed me...that was violence. Or desire turned into violence. It can happen, depending on the people involved. But, it would never be that like that between…” 

 

“Between us?” 

 

“Yes, between us. I can be a little rough, but I think once you feel what it’s like, you’ll want it, too.” 

 

Rey cocks a suspicious eyebrow. 

 

“I promise, you’ll want it. What I want more than anything is to..take care of you. _Especially_ in that way. What we did tonight...that’s not even close to how good I could make you feel. I’d give you…”

 

_ Everything.  _

 

“...what you needed to feel...satisfied. Like we both do right now, but so much deeper.” 

 

_ To feel you so full of bliss and love and comfort and my seed and our babies that you never leave me. _ Ben surprised himself with the thought. 

 

“Between two people who care for each, this is...sacred. Life-changing. Lovers have rearranged the galaxy because of just what we both felt tonight.” 

 

_ Are actually currently rearranging it because of you.  _

 

Rey considered his words, a tiny smile forming on her lips. "I promise I'll think about it." 

 

_ Constantly.  _

 

Then she added, “Thank you for not making me feel...small, because of my, um, inexperience. I didn’t know it could be like that.” 

 

“Rey, never apologize for wanting me. Please.” 

 

Rey cuddles up next to Ben. 

 

She furrows her brows, and asks, “Have you done this much? I mean, with other women?” 

 

“Um...hm, not really. It’s not exactly pleasant knowing that your uncle can sense you touching yourself in your bunk at night, then tries to steer you away from desire when you’re only 13 or so. Then...Snoke...let’s just say he thought that my desire for a woman, uh, anyone really,  would distract me from my teachings, primarily being totally under his heel.” 

 

Rey chuckles sleepily, “I understand. There’s really not a lot of time to think about sex when you’re trying to get enough to eat that day. Plus, well, I mean, you saw my options on Jakku...” 

 

The pair fell gently into silence, cocooned against each other. 

 

Rey whispered, “Ben?” 

 

“Hm?” 

 

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

 

“I’ll probably fade when I sleep, but yes, I will stay with you. For as long as I possibly can.”

 

The statement seemed to carry past just this evening. 

 

Rey tucks herself up against her lover’s gorgeously massive body.  Ben’s fingers stroke through her hair until she falls into a deep sleep, finally at rest, finally at peace. 

 

Ben stays awake just a little longer, casually brainstorming the location for the next temple. He knows exactly to whom it will be dedicated. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, kids. Trigger warning! Attempted molestation, sexual manipulation, general misogyny. The kid's alright, though. :) 
> 
> I wanted to give Rey a realistic backstory of what she had to put up with on Jakku, while darkening up the Plutt character. The Force visions are intense, and come at a price. 
> 
> I love the kudos and comments! 
> 
> I've got about 7 more chapters sketched out, with plot filler in between. Buckle up! These little plotlines are all going to knit together very soon.


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